Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Carring on from my last, rudely ended blog, I would like to continue it and therefore DIScontinue it with my reasons, currently undivolged. My reasons are due now, and therefore I will tell you, though I doubt that this will tickle any interest in your lives seeing as no one really reads these posts because they are interested, they do so because they have nothing better to do, as is the case with everything on the planet. My reason is that because I started writing this blog in the hope of displaying my uniqueness, though it has become quite apparent to me that everyone else has been doing the same and therefore rendering me...the same. This, again, makes me feel sick, because if I have to be the same as every other disgusting human on this planet, then I am one more virus to burn it out. This is pretty much the reason. Added to others such as after intense emotional experiences I tend to type endless blither and don't think about what I am writing and thusly, lose my superiority, if that is even possible.
Anyway, to move on from this one sided discussion. I wish to write a song, I feel that my excellent voice is being wasted...and those of you who have heard me sing SOBER - KATHERINE (who nudged me down a rung when she told me NEVER to be a singer), I'm sure will agree with me. The one main problem is that I have been unable to find the right style of music that fits my aura (that means fucking brilliancy and superiority to everyone in everyway). The reason for this I think is because I have been thinking too much about existing styles of music and the influence the predefined style of music my immediate vicinity enjoys, or claims to enjoy, has. The solution, in my eyes, is that I need a style of my own, a style that has all the good parts of every genre of music and none of the bad parts of them - for me, I think this will be an easy task. I have sung before in what many people may call a 'Jam', I would call it more of a spam, because of how much crap was in it. Crap, not as in my singing OR lyrics were not better than most ever recorded, but crap referring to all the smut in my lyrics. Please observe:
"This boy sucked me off like no other,
It was like getting a blowjob from my brother,
I came all over his face,
Like a fire hose, all over the place'
*The editing party would like to inform viewers that said lyrics were formed under the influence of alchohol and whatever else. If you have been affected by these words and would like confidential and impartial advice, please call 0800 - FUCKOFF
I am an excellent dancer, or so I've been told (although I've been thinking it for...ever), I had the chance to prove myself at a recent performance, in which I was the only one to do a solo, which, I might add, was the best performance of the whole thing. There are these annoying girls though that think that they are, without sound too cockney, the 'bee's knees'.
However, after much observation and due consideration, I have been able to come to the conclusion that they are really not that good, are pretty ugly and their dancing revolved pretty much around slutty Coyote Ugly style dancing, which anyone who is doing it thinks they are great at. No, has to be said that I am the best dancer, and I am original, I dance my way and that's that.
I will be attending a recall audition this weekend with the NYTW (National Youth Theatre of Wales, an event that many theatre orientated performers in Wales aspire to attend. There were MANY applicants with all the experience that the Youth Theatre could have wanted at the first auditions, and then there was me, absolutely no experience in dancing or drama, but I manage to get into it with purely my singing voice, movement, and acting. A perfect candidate on paper missed out on the recall audition because I had the REAL talent that they were looking for, that goes towards my arrogance too.
To end, I would just like to remind you of how above average I am, bodily, spiritually, confidence-wise, souly, and mindly (if that's a word - irony by the way). Many people often say that they great, but they are just hiding from the painful truth that they are just like everyone else, I don't, I say it because its true, and that's the way the cock flops.
The End
(Love to Janie xxx)
Anyway, to move on from this one sided discussion. I wish to write a song, I feel that my excellent voice is being wasted...and those of you who have heard me sing SOBER - KATHERINE (who nudged me down a rung when she told me NEVER to be a singer), I'm sure will agree with me. The one main problem is that I have been unable to find the right style of music that fits my aura (that means fucking brilliancy and superiority to everyone in everyway). The reason for this I think is because I have been thinking too much about existing styles of music and the influence the predefined style of music my immediate vicinity enjoys, or claims to enjoy, has. The solution, in my eyes, is that I need a style of my own, a style that has all the good parts of every genre of music and none of the bad parts of them - for me, I think this will be an easy task. I have sung before in what many people may call a 'Jam', I would call it more of a spam, because of how much crap was in it. Crap, not as in my singing OR lyrics were not better than most ever recorded, but crap referring to all the smut in my lyrics. Please observe:
"This boy sucked me off like no other,
It was like getting a blowjob from my brother,
I came all over his face,
Like a fire hose, all over the place'
*The editing party would like to inform viewers that said lyrics were formed under the influence of alchohol and whatever else. If you have been affected by these words and would like confidential and impartial advice, please call 0800 - FUCKOFF
I am an excellent dancer, or so I've been told (although I've been thinking it for...ever), I had the chance to prove myself at a recent performance, in which I was the only one to do a solo, which, I might add, was the best performance of the whole thing. There are these annoying girls though that think that they are, without sound too cockney, the 'bee's knees'.
However, after much observation and due consideration, I have been able to come to the conclusion that they are really not that good, are pretty ugly and their dancing revolved pretty much around slutty Coyote Ugly style dancing, which anyone who is doing it thinks they are great at. No, has to be said that I am the best dancer, and I am original, I dance my way and that's that.
I will be attending a recall audition this weekend with the NYTW (National Youth Theatre of Wales, an event that many theatre orientated performers in Wales aspire to attend. There were MANY applicants with all the experience that the Youth Theatre could have wanted at the first auditions, and then there was me, absolutely no experience in dancing or drama, but I manage to get into it with purely my singing voice, movement, and acting. A perfect candidate on paper missed out on the recall audition because I had the REAL talent that they were looking for, that goes towards my arrogance too.
To end, I would just like to remind you of how above average I am, bodily, spiritually, confidence-wise, souly, and mindly (if that's a word - irony by the way). Many people often say that they great, but they are just hiding from the painful truth that they are just like everyone else, I don't, I say it because its true, and that's the way the cock flops.
The End
(Love to Janie xxx)
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Its been a while since I have taken the time and/or effort to type a word or two to the mases of the world via the medium of web logging. There is a very subtle yet strong reason for this. Many people may be offended by this but these people are otherwise redundant because I do not want to turn into one of these people obliviously as they have. The reason that I had started to write this blog is for several reasons known to me and probably many more I am unaware of laying deep in the caverness depths of my subconscious mind, but the most relevant and exacting reason on me and my life is one that I am most cognant toward in my everyday existance. Thoughts at most are not constant, they are brief hormonal stimulae, causing the brain to process information quickly, rather than letting it drag on slowly and thusly, more thoroughly. However, one thought that I have been experiencing in this section of my life, and I say that because I can't remember when it started and cannot see it ending anytime soon, is the undying feeling that I am the only true centient being on this planet, that I am the only one that can look at myself and others critically, the only one that really knows that I exist, the only one that isn't a mindless robot like the rest. This isn't so true as it used to be and these days it exists only as an instinct that makes me paranoid and just weird. But, one thing that it hasn't changed, is my undying wish to be noticed, or as other people call it, 'cool'. I don't really know what this word means anymore, because it changes all the time with new trends and fashions, but I know that most of me just hates the idea of being just 'another person', just another cog in the machine. This makes me feel sick, because it makes me feel that my life is worthless unless I am making a difference or an impact, even if that impact is on a very local scale. The impact that need to be made is not in terms of how widespread it is, but more in how powerful it is and how it makes people feel. I wish to be so 'cool' that I make people want to be me! This is no joke. I wish to make people so jealous that the wish to be me just that they get as much acclaim as me. And I do not mean that I want to be some kind of actor or famous person. I find most famous people to be REALLY thick and even more unaware of themselves, everyone else and their existence on this earth, physically or spiritually. I wish to do something more, I don't care about fame, I just want to be able to do something, not something that everyone else is doing, but something that is so underground that its almost scary because it is so unknown. I just want to be able to do something that I have made my own that makes people think WOW when they see it. To wrap it up all neatly, I wish to be different and this is the main reason that I have written most of the blogs in my time. Now, some of you may be thinking, 'But all you did was write about girls and love and shit like that, that everyone else is always piping on about!'. I can empathise with this, and it makes me feel truely ashamed and sickened by myself. But, as you may have already guessed, this is a sure sign that when I get going, I really am not aware of what I am saying and therefore am no better than all these people that I hate. But the fact that I know about this, makes me superior to others!!! To everyone! Well, this shall be continued at a later date as I have a life and must go back to playing computer games all day! (that WAS supposed to be funny for all those 'fickos' out there!) I shall write more soon, until then..fuck off! By the way, I shall get down to the reason eventually, when I feel the time is right and you are all open enough to hear...or see it.
Love to Janie xxx (sorry for being mean to you all the time, but I am only joking I prom!)
p.s. (see how stereotypical this blog is, just 'p.s' makes it into a big fat gay, and how after lines of writing about how aware I am, I have spurted loads of crap out that I am not even aware of doing! I anger myself everyday).
Love to Janie xxx (sorry for being mean to you all the time, but I am only joking I prom!)
p.s. (see how stereotypical this blog is, just 'p.s' makes it into a big fat gay, and how after lines of writing about how aware I am, I have spurted loads of crap out that I am not even aware of doing! I anger myself everyday).
